<>

Just fucking great...

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 21:24:34 GMT

Ian farted, and it is going to smell.

Now.

Tue, 13 May 2008 04:21:43 GMT

Let's see... I guess all I really want to talk about here is Ian. Lately he is the only thing I ever want to talk about, or think about or anything about. Everything in my life has been so messy. He is the only person who makes the world still turn. He's the only one who makes things all okay. All I do is feel like I'm being an idiot. An idiot size extra large. I mean, I want to be with him. I can see that happening. I want it to happen. Only one problem with that though. He lives in Ohio. He says he will move out here no sooner than 8 months and who knows how long is the longest... I want to wait for him, but I am afraid that I will miss out on something great here... and if I don't wait for him, I'm afraid I'll miss out on him. I love him. I really do. I mean, internet and phone love. Ian has really made my life so much better and it is mostly through the phone and internet. Imagine the damage that can be done in person. By damage, I really mean, all the good things and how much more positive he will make my life. Am I crazy to let a boy who is 273 miles away from me have such an effect on me? I've never thought that I'd say this... but maybe a long distance thing is possible? I don't want that though. Too much pressure, really. I mean, I know I could get someone out here... as conceited as that sounds... I don't know. I just picture things being really great between the two of us. I have so many what ifs... I don't know. I guess I'll just let things fall as they please.

I'm really confused.

Love,
Stacia

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 11:02:07 GMT

I couldn't sleep any more because as soon as I woke up, my throat was like, "Hey Stacie, Let me attack you as soon as you wake up." I said, "Sure, no problem. Thanks throat, you ass hat." So now instead of showering (Showers are overrated) I am sitting here browsing through pictures of the boy that I like. I realized that I could probably never have him like he talks about. I'm to reserved and he looks like he makes himself have awkward fun. Maybe he can help me make fun and friends? I don't know. I still think he is just wanting me. Whatever though, just whatever. I'm going to go shower now because I am ready to think too hard.

I'm going to tell Bret the truth tonight or tomorrow. I had the perfect opportunity last night but I thought it inappropriate because I was so tired and my throat hurt to much to have a serious talk.

SCHOOL.

Recap.

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 23:20:01 GMT

Since September 10th of my sophomore year of high school I haven't stopped thinking about this one boy.
Since my senior year and on and off before that I've had a certain crush on a boy that probably only talks to me because he wants to get it on.

May 2007- I turned 19. Millie won the Young Author's contest and we went to ISU for the Young Author's conference.
June 2007- I broke up with Bret.
July 2007- Started coaching cheerleading. Got turned down by a guy who I thought was different.
August 2007- Got back with Bret.
September 2007- Realized that it probably wasn't the best idea to be with Bret. He didn't change.
October 2007- Halloween. Talked to an old friend who probably loves me, but I'm too afraid to explore the option.
November 2007- Broke up with Bret. Met Mike and realized that he could be a best friend or more.
December 2007- Mike says he would never like me more than just a friend and I'm cool with that because he is cool enough to have as a friend. Found out I didn't fail Biology. Started hanging out with Emily again. I realize I need her more than anything. She really keeps me going.
January 2008- Felt uncomfortable at my job. Didn't qualify for state. Stopped talking to my mom.
February 2008- Turned down Bret. I don't trust that he's changed. Patrick started talking to me again. Joined Bally's.
March 2008- I'm going to Florida.

I love...
1. Bonding with my younger siblings.
2. Making things.
3. My friends.
4. Spanish.
5. Making people smile.

I hate...
1. My dependence.
2. When my dad is upset with me or in general.
3. Being afraid.
4. Being so stuck.
5. Not being able to see my little brother Robbie as much as I'd like to.

Things I've learned from the three serious relationships I've had with three really great boys.

Kevin-- Kevin taught me I need someone who will respect me like he did. He also taught me that I need someone who will make me smile, whatever it takes. He also taught me that a relationship between two best friends doesn't always end happily.

Patrick-- Patrick taught me that I really like being surrounded by music and therefore, that I enjoy having a musician as a boyfriend. This isn't the most important thing though. He taught me how to love someone unconditionally. He also taught me to be a little bit more adventurous and to not be afraid to meet people. He showed me that I like when a boy tells me that I'm beautiful.

Bret-- Bret taught me more than enough. Unfortunately, it was all stuff that I didn't want in a relationship. But I will spare the details. He is still a great guy.

--Stacia.

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 21:19:41 GMT

I'm not going to lie... I think my chest is caving in.

I love music... for real.

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 06:43:43 GMT

Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.

How many songs: 2702

All songs are in this format:
Song-Artist-Time-Album-Genre-Play Count

Sort by song title:
First Song: "(A)" --mewithoutYou
Last Song: "'97(acoustic)"--Alkaline Trio

Sort by time:
Shortest Song: 5 seconds "If I Were a Girl"--Blink-182
Longest Song: 1 hour 39 seconds "Live at the Fireside Bowl"--Alkaline Trio... its a whole show.

Sort by album:
First Song: " All That She Wants" --Ace of Base
Last Song: "I Let 'Em Know"-- Young MC

Top Five Most Played Songs: I went thru a phase where all I listened to was Menora/Majora
178   "You Help Them"--Say Anything
172   "A Walk Thru Hell"--Say Anything
161   "Try to Remember, Forget"--Say Anything
152 "By Tonight"--Say Anything
147   "I Am a Transylvanian"--Say Anything

First song that comes up on Shuffle: "Flashpoint: Catheter" -- Cap'n Jazz

Search for....
"sex", how many songs come up? : 5
"death", how many songs come up? : 46 (Two Death Cab for Cutie CDs)
"love", how many songs come up? : 109
"you", how many songs come up? : 385

List your playlists:
I have a playlist for all of the Say Anything CDs cuz I was burning them for my brother and a very special someone.

You're way too beautiful girl..

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 22:28:22 GMT

LONGEST GIRL SURVEY EVER
-don't be shy, fill it all out-

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
yes

2. Have you kissed any one on your top list?
this isn't myspace, but... i've kissed people on my friends list on LJ...

3. Are you happy with your looks?
there are a few things I think I could work on... but I'm lazy

4. Do you enjoy drama?
not one bit

5. Are you a girly girl?
not in the slightest

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
Boompa.

7. Small or large purses?
I carry bags... mostly... but I like totes.

8. Are you short?
5'3

9. Do you like someone?
yes, I like almost every person I meet until they give me a reason not to... but then I still give them another chance.

10. What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
It depends on where I'm at and who did it... In cheerleading, we always smacked each others booties... but if it was a random person... then I'd punch them.

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Yeah... that's why I generally don't wear white socks.

12. Do you think you’re conceited?
When I am nervous, I act like it, but I'm really not.

13. Are you a bitch?
No, but I can be mean, when it's 100% necessary.

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
Yeah, but in goofy things... i.e. my costume from this past Halloween.

14. Are you double jointed?
In my fingers

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
On the stairs at Congress Theatre during a battle of the bands.

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours
nope.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
Probably, but I don't care.

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Yes.

20. How many guys will read this just because it says- Girl Confessions?
I think only two people read this... both are guys... whatever.

1/2. What about your panties?
I'm not wearing any. :-[

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
I think it all depends on the style. seriously.

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
yeah.

5. Do you have a best friend?
yes... but I think he's given up on me. :/

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes

7.Do you like your life?
it could be better, but i would only change like, four things about it.

9.Do you shop at Hollister?
Sometimes if i like something there....

10. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
not successfully, but almost.

11. When was the last time you were in a pool with all your clothes on?
Never

12. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
boys

13. How long have you had livejournal?
I changed this question from myspace to LJ cuz i dno how to answer the myspace one... but I've had this since sophomore year.

14. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face
yes, but he deserved it.

15. What are your biggest fears?
I have too many to list.

16. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yes, once or twice

17. Have you ever been able to not get someone off of your mind?
yes, like now... haha.

19. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
yessss.

20. Do you ever wish you were famous?
sometimes, i think it would be fun.

21. Are you currently missing someone?
sort of.

ABOUT BOYS:

Funny or Serious?
I'd like a person who knows when to be funny and when to be serious.

Romantic or Daredevil?
Romantic, but willing to try a few new things.

Cute or Hot?
I sort of think they mean the same thing, so either or, or both.

Dark Eyes or Light Eyes?
Light.

Long Hair or Short Hair?
Short hair... but it really depends.

Curly Hair or Straight Hair?
straight-ish wavy-ish... i dont care

Clean-cut or Rough?
Clean cut... or rough. again, it depends

Good Dancer or Good Singer?
I like to dance and sing... but I want someone who will dance with me, good or not... and sing with/to me... good or not.

Basketball Player or Football Player?
hmm... soccer player?

Jock or Rebel?
neither?

Younger or Older?
Older. hands down.

Player or Loyal?
loyal, duh?

With all the time I have, I am an insult to the dead.

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 03:58:32 GMT

1. Have you smoked a cigarette before?
Never.

2. Have you kissed somebody in the last week?
Yes.

3. Who's the last person that came to your house?
My aunt, uncle, grandma, and two cousins, Brandon and Christopher.

4. Miss someone?
Yeah, RIP Papa.

5. How's your ex doing?
I hope he is doing well.

6. Is there someone you want to fight?
No, not really

7. How are you doing?
I am doing all right... considering.

8. What are you doing tomorrow?
Going out to breakfast with my Boompa and Grandma Angel and maybe I'll hang out with Jessica. Then I will come home and talk to people online.

9. Do you know what tofu is?
Yes.

10. Have you ever eaten it?
No, but I'd try it.

11. Do you want to go back to middle school?
Not at all.

12. Are you single?
hmmm, no...

13 What did you do yesterday?
There was a basketball game at Reavis.

14. Who did you ride in a car with last?
Nancy and Olivia, cuz I didn't feel like waiting for their parents to show up.

15. Are you tired?
No, not really.

16. Who/what made you happy/smile today?
Hmmm... My cheerleading squad... and then talking about and to this one boy...

17. Where is your mother right now?
She is wrapping presents in her home in Wisconsin.

18. What color socks do u have on?
My feet are bare.

19. What color is the shirt you are wearing?
It is olive green.

20. If you had no choice but to do a drug, which one would you choose?
I just wouldn't choose.

21. Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls?
Barbie's are fun.... but I was never worried about being like them, so it doesn't bother me...

22. Do you really like filling out these things?
Yes... yes, I do... :-[

23. Does your family own any boats?
Someone gave us one, but gave it to someone.

24. Have you ever kissed your cat?
Hmm, no. She doesn't like people.

25. Where were you when 7/7/07 happened?
I was getting pumped to start coaching.

26. How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
I'd say an hour, if I shower and do my hair.

27. Have you ever been out of the US?
Yes, I've been to Canada.

28. If you could go anywhere outside of the US where would you go?
Ireland... Iceland... anywhere would be cool.

29. Last movie you watched in a theater, and last movie you saw at home?
Hmm, I forgot. The last movie I watched all the way through was How to Deal with my grama.

30. Have any siblings?
wow, I get sick of answering this one... so yes, 6.

31. Do you get along with your parents?
Yes, all four, mostly.

32. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
yes, and glasses 99.9% of the time.

33. What was your last decision?
To make Olivia or Nancy fly.

34. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope.

35. Do you have any piercings?
My ears.

36. Last person you hugged?
Brandon.

37. The last place you went to?
Markham park district for an 8 hour awesome cheer practice.

38. Did anyone yell at you today?
Nope.

39. Do you sing in the shower?
Yeah, the water drops on the wall are my audience.

40. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
Yes.

41. Has anyone ever written you poetry?
Yes... haha...

42. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No.

43. How many people are signed onto your messenger program?
20/54

44. What's your one wish?
If I say it, it won't come true.

45. Do you find yourself loved?
Yeah.

46. What's the closest thing thats orange by you?
my gloves.

47. - 49. Don't you hate when numbers are missing?
YES!

50. Who do you talk to about your problems?
My momma, my brother...

100 truths

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 06:40:21 GMT

10O TRUTHS.

FIVE LASTS:
1. last beverage→ Ice Mountain water
2. last call→ Bret
3. last kiss→ Bret
4. last time you cried--> a while ago.
5. last text message sent--> I think it mught have been Bret.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVER:
1. dated someone twice? Yes.
2. been cheated on? Yes.
3. kissed someone & regretted it? No.
4. lost someone special? yes.
5. been depressed? yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
1. Green
2. Blue
3. Red

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
1. Made a new friend → YES!
2. Fallen out of love → yes.
3. Laughed until you cried → yes!
4. Met someone who changed your life→ almost... :)
5. Found out who your true friends were→ no.
6. Is there something you want to tell someone → yes.
7. Have you kissed anyone on your friend's list→ yeah.

RANDOMS:
1. What did you do for your last birthday? My sister won the Young Author contest at her school so we went to that... and then out to this really awesome restaurant and I has a Tuna fillet... and it was delicious.
2. What time did you wake up today? like.. 8:30
3. What will you be doing at midnight? the same thing...
4. Name something you can't wait for? when I get the guts.
5. Last time you saw your father? like, a little bit ago
6. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? right now, that I'm not a virgin.

7. What are you listening to right now? Baby girl, I'm a blur.
8. Have you ever talked to Tom? No.
10. Who on your friends list would you like to hook up with? hmm...?
11. What are your thoughts on marriage? I'm excited to find the person who will be that guy for me...
12. How many kids do you want to have? Hopefully at least 4..
13. Do you have any pets? 2 dogs and a cat
14. Have you changed your name? Not yet.

REALS:
001. Whats your real name? Anastacia
002. Zodiac sign--> taurus/gemini
005. male or female--> female
010. Hair color → Brownish.
011. Long or short →Longish.
016. Height → 5'3
017. Do you have a crush on someone→ yeah.... driving me nuts.
018. Do you like yourself → sometimes
019. Piercings → 2
021. Righty or lefty? righty

FIRSTS :
022. First surgery → wisdom teeth... and i am probably going to look into neck surgery.
023. First piercing → Ears.
024. First best friend? Tony.
027. First pet → Spanky.
028. First vacation? who knows.
029. first crush? Nick S.

CURRENTLY :
049. Eating →nothing
050. Drinking → ice mountain water
052. I'm about to. → finish this survey
053. Listening to → Say Anything.
055. Waiting for→ lots.
058. Want kids? Yes
059. Want to get married? definitely.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPISITE SEX? :
072. Romantic or spontaneous? romantic...
074. Sensitive or loud? hmm... a mixture?
075. Hook-up or relationship? relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant? hesistant? i dno...

HAVE YOU EVER
078. Kissed a stranger → no.
080. Lost glasses/contacts --> no.
081. Ran away from home → no.
084. Broken someone's heart → I think maybe?
085. Been arrested → no.
086. Turned someone down → yes
087. Cried when someone died -> so much

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself--> occasionally
091. Love at first sight→ no
092.Heaven→ sometimes
093. Santa Claus → yes.
094. Sex on the first date -- no.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now?→ yeah... i want to hang out.
098. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?→ noooo

099. Are you a cheater?→ I cheated on my amendments test in 8th grade... and in HS we'd always share homework.
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? sure, why not...

<>

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 04:11:08 GMT

John Hughes' 80's movies coming back to haunt me....

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 03:05:14 GMT

I want life like that... like Lloyd Dobler and Diane Court... or Macon and Hallie...

Who's going to play some Jedi mind tricks on me?

-Stacia

Up all night long, and there's somthing very wrong.

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 05:01:50 GMT

100. WHAT’S YOUR PROFILE SONG & WHY?
I don't have a profile song... but I'm listening to Reggie & the Full Effect.

99. DO YOU HAVE A JOB?
It's Your Serve and Bremen Cheer Coach

98. MIDDLE NAME?
Marie

97. Bee eff eff?
My brother Tony.

96. What did you have for lunch today?
like... 2 bites of Ramen Noodles.

95. BEST BREAKUP SONG?
hahahaha. Once my friend's boyfriend broke up with her by playing Untitled by Blink-182... yeah, haha.

94. WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU TOOK A PLANE TO?
I've never been on a plane... I'm scared.

93. WHAT IS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AND WHO DID YOU WATCH IT WITH?
Say Anything... I was alone.

92. WHAT MAKES YOU MAD?
hmmm... rapists.

91. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Spanish Teacher.

90. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
Anastacia Marie Derro

89. If you were to text your name, what would the numbers be?
262782242

88. DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX YOU CAN TALK TO?
definitely.

87. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?
6- Tiffny(27, stepsis) Matt(20, asshole step) Tony(18, BFF brother) Millie(10, half sis) Maddie(8, halfsis) Robbie(8 half bro)

86. WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
in my room.

85. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
"Make way for the hurt person, and bring me his wallet"

84. WHAT DOES THE 7TH MESSAGE IN YOUR INBOX SAY ON YOUR PHONE?
No, just got off.

83. What color are your eyes?
Blue-Green

82. What is sitting next to you right now?
phone, keys, brush.

81.WHERE IS YOUR MOM RIGHT NOW?
On her couch, smoking a cigarette.

80. Do you hate anyone?
I don't know.

79. WHO IS THE 5TH PERSON YOU GOT A MISSED CALL FROM?
Boompa.

78. CLOSEST BLACK OBJECT?
My UIC lanyard.

77. WHATS ANNOYING YOU RIGHT NOW?
Myself.

76. ARE YOU AN OSTRICH?
Nope, my momma is a llama.

75. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Yes... and my room... and the car....

74. DO YOU OWN ANY PETS?
Rambo, Harley, Missie (2 Dogs and a cat)

72. LAST TIME YOU LISTENED TO COUNTRY MUSIC?
Hmmm... Sunday when I was in the car with my parents.

69. WHAT ARE YOUR FEARS?
English Muffins, centipedes, the dark. Everything?

68. WHAT CAN YOU HEAR NOW?
Blink-182--New Hope

67. HOW MANY DRUGS ARE IN YOUR SYSTEM NOW?
None.

65. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
My co-ed Cheer State Qualifiers pants and my Brand New T-Shirt.

64. LAST PERSON TO COMMENT YOU?
BHT. the Brain Train. haha...

63. DO YOU SING?
"every night, I fall asleep with you... and I wake up alone"

62. ROCK OR RAP?
Rock.

61. ARE YOU ASIAN?
Eh... Russian?

60. DO YOU LIKE CHEESE?
Yes

59. WHO DID YOU LAST CALL?
Courtney... no answer.

57. WHAT JEWELERY DO YOU WEAR DAILY?
nothing.

56. WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?
I'm freezing... I feel like crap.

55. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HUGGED?
Maddy.

54. WOULD YOU DIE FOR SOMEONE?
Yes. Millie, Maddy, Robbie and Tony.

53. LATEST THING YOU’VE RECENTLY LEARNED?
I can't fix anyone.

52. ARE YOU COLD NOW?
freezing.

51. WHAT DO YOU SMELL?
My room...

50. IS ANYTHING BOTHERING YOU RIGHT NOW?
Yes.

49. You like football?
Yes... it is the greatest sport to cheer for.

48. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW?
Bio lab... class... cheerleading practice... who knows.

47. IF YOUR LAST EX WANTED YOU BACK, WOULD YOU TAKE THEM BACK?
Nope.

46. FAVORITE CLASS?
Spanish... or Sociology

45. WHATS ONE THING YOU NEED RIGHT NOW?
I need to talk to Courtni.

44. Favorite TV show?
Degrassi[?]

43. WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?
Jake Gylenhaal... Max Bemis

42. CAN YOU SWIM?
No, afraid of most bodies of water.

41. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU HEARD?
Mark Hoppus saying "I'm sorry" 32 times... if i remember the count correctly.

40. lkshzdbgkslzegkl?
That's what I was thinking.

39. ARE YOU EMO?
Many would probably say yes.

38. LAST THING YOU ATE?
ramen noodles at lunch.

37. WHERE'S YOUR ULTIMATE VACATION?
I'd rather be anywhere.

36.WHAT'S YOU PASSWORD FOR MYSPACE?
haha, in regards to Fridman... my favorite male cheerleader "Sh3male"

35. UNITED STATES OR CANADA?
I just want to live.

34. WHAT TIME IS IT?
10:51

33. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU FOUND OUT YOU WERE ADOPTED?
I know I'm not... I look too much like all of them.

32. JEANS OR SWEATPANTS?
Cordorouys.

31. WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?
eating.

30. ARE YOU GONNA DO IT?
i'm not hungry.

29. DO YOU HAVE SOCKS ON?
I wish.

28. DO YOU OWN BIG SUNGLASSES?
they aren't that big... but I have a small head.

27. HAVE YOU CRIED SO HARD YOU MADE YOURSELF SICK?
Yes.

26. FAVORITE NUMBER:.
23 or 30...

25. DO YOU PLAY ANY SPORTS FOR YOUR HIGH SCHOOL OR COLLEGE?
I cheered in High School... most of you know the story.

23. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING?
some antibiotic. Encef.

22. IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO ONE PERSON, WHAT WOULD IT BE?.
BYE!

21. DO YOU FIND ALL GIRLS TO BE BUTTHEADS?
No, some are really great...

20. DO YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON?
ehhh... I don't know.

19. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
REPEAT!

18. DO YOU LIKE 80’S MOVIES?
My favorite movie is Say Anything... 1989.

17.DO YOU LIKE "POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME" BY DEF LEPPARD?
I wore out my mom's Def Leppard concert video when I was a baby.. I wouldn't fall asleep to anything else.

16. DO YOU DANCE TO IT?
God, yes.

13. BEST CITY YOU’VE VISITED?
Chicago.

12. BEEN TO LONDON?
Not yet.

11. CAN YOU LICK YOUR TOE?
I have before.

10. FAVORITE SUBJECT AT SCHOOL?
Spanish.

9. BEEN TO COLLEGE?
I'm in college.

7. FAVORITE TIME OF DAY?
11:00pm.

6. EVER LICKED SOMEONES CHEEK?
yes... I've liked an eyeball too.

5. SEEN ALL THE SPIDERMAN MOVIES?
Yes.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
the season between summer and fall.

3. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?
my back to stop hurting.

2. EVER GOTTEN LOST IN THE DARK?
:( I hope i never do.

1. WHERE'S UR NUMBER 1?
My number one...

Wow. Just... wow.

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:34:47 GMT

After how amazing I felt when I witnessed the actions of Aaron Weiss, I e-mailed him. Surprisingly, he replied.

I think that is amazing.

And it made my day a little bit better.

-Stacia

Wow.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:37:49 GMT

Aaron Weiss. Look his name up in the dictionary and the definition will read: (n.) a truly great and inspiring person.

I don't know what has happened to me over the course of the last few days, but something happened and it's amazing and I credit part of this transformation to Aaron.

It all started on Saturday. I was waiting outside to get into the show with mewithoutYou, Thrice and Brand New. I was going to see Brand New, but I've always liked mewithoutYou also. Anyways, while I was in line, I was on the phone with my mom and then Aaron was walking along the line of people offering them bananas and fruit cups. I knew it was him right away. He has one of those faces that is easily recognizable. I wish I would have accepted that banana. I wanted to shake his hand. Tell him how great he was. Hug him. Something. I had this weird idea that some of his kindness and ability to forgive anyone and anything for anything would rub off on me. I was too nervous though. I should have. A homeless man rode his bike along the line of people and Aaron offered him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some fruit. When the man only wanted wine, Aaron never lost his patience. I wish more people were like him.

The show was amazing, too. mewithoutYou was awesome, for lack of a better word. I felt full. I was filled with this overwhelming feeling that I can't put a word to. I explained it to a friend as a feeling that made my chest swell. I felt like I wanted to laugh and cry and dance and smile and hug and just be. I've been reading interviews with him since 5 o'clock and listening to what he has to say is just amazing. Sure, he is a Christian, but what is great is that he said he didn't want to focus on "if you don't believe in God, you're going to Hell", but he tries to be the person who gives to people, who readily admits his faults, and who is able to forgive people, whether they've asked for his forgiveness or not. That is amazing. While I am not planning to attend church any time soon, I feel like I want to be something more like him and that is all he wants.

I don't know, but I feel like my life is going to have a whole new meaning. I like that. I'll embrace it.

-Stacia

P.S. Jakob, don't get upset by this at all. You've opened me up to feeling these feelings, sometimes it takes someone to walk someone up to the cliff, but another to help you take the plunge.

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 22:53:02 GMT

What's your name? ::: Anastacia Marie Elizabeth Derro
Birthplace ::: Hazel Crest, IL
Age ::: 19
Age you act ::: It depends.
Current location ::: My kitchen
Eye color ::: blue-green
Hair color ::: blah.
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::: righty
Zodiac sign? ::: gemini or taurus, it depends on your source.
Height? ::: 5'3

[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality ::: Polish, Italian, Irish, English, Dutch, Czech, American Indian, Russian... I'm a mutt, so what.
Your hair ::: long, straight and brown
Your fears ::: you name it, i'm probably afraid or creeped out by it.
Your perfect room ::: anywhere with a bed...
What you practically do in a day ::: work or school, coach, homework, sleep, eat.

[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::: sorry and real (i.e. I'm real sorry, that's real crazy)
Phrases you overuse ::: Are you kidding me?
Your first thought when you wake up ::: how many more times can i press the snooze.
Your greatest accomplishment ::: well... i'd have to say getting invited to Hawaii to cheer... but unfortunately it was CRUSHED.
Something you want to do ::: Cheer again... haha.

[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::: coke
McDonald's or Burger Kings ::: at BK you got it.
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::: Mandy Moore
Chocolate or vanilla ::: depends
Adidas or Nike ::: adidas
Black or white ::: black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::: bills
Burgers or hot dogs ::: hot dog... grilled... with mustard only...
Egypt or France ::: egypt
Rock or rap ::: rock

[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::: never
Cuss ::: occasionally
Sing well ::: depends on who you ask.
Sing in the shower ::: yes
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::: not really
Believe in yourself ::: not really.
Like taking these longass surveys? ::: yes.
Play an instrument ::: un poco
Want to go to college? ::: i am in college
Want to get married? ::: yes
Want to have children? ::: yes
Think you're a health freak? ::: nah.
Get along with your parents ::: yes
Get along with your siblings? ::: not really
Think you're popular ::: no

[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::: nope.
Drank alchohal ::: no
Smoke ::: no
Get high ::: no
Done any drugs ::: no
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::: never.
Been on stage ::: no
Gone skinny dipping ::: no
Been dumped ::: no
Dyed your hair ::: no
Stolen anything ::: nope

[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest :::
Loudest ::: Courtney Bronson
Most shy ::: Me.
Blondest ::: Courtney Bronson
Smartest ::: Courtney Nyeholt
Kindest ::: Courtney Bronson
Best personality ::: I'm going to go with Tony
Most talented ::: Emily
Best singer ::: Emily
Most ghetto ::: well Courtney Bronson and I can heel toe...
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::: Emily... haha.
Pain in the ass ::: All of them.
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::: Tony, haha.
Funniest ::: Tony
Best person for advice ::: Jakob
Dependable ::: heh... none.
Trustworthy ::: Jakob
Druggie ::: Well... JCook does drugs... but I don't think she's a druggie.
Most likely to end up in jail ::: Kevin
Person you've known the longest ::: JCook

[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::: Last night. I don't remember it though.
Last nightmare ::: I have nightmares almost nightly.
Car ride ::: with the girls to breakfast and stuff.
Last time you cried ::: a few days ago, although I am on the verge now.
Last movie seen ::: I just watched Walk the Line. I love that movie.
Last movie rented ::: I can't remember which ones they were, but I can see them sitting in my car... haha.
Last book read ::: Harry Potter and the half blood prince
Last word said ::: Oh.
Last curse word said ::: probably Hell.
Last time you laugh ::: When I was watching Walk the Line.
Last phone call ::: Mrs. Chris (a cheer mom) yapping my ear off.
Last CD played ::: I haven't played a CD in a while.
Last song you listened to ::: Currently playing is: Cap'n Jazz-- We Are Scientists! I love this song and having iTunes on shuffle..
Last annoyance ::: my room
Last IM ::: Kevin saying "so i'll ttyl"
Last weird encounter ::: today... haha.
Last person you hugged ::: Millie or Maddy
Last person you yelled at ::: I sort of was yelling at Millie and Maddy today... for hitting each other.
Last time you wore a skirt ::: a while ago.
Last time you've been evil ::: never
Sarcastic? ::: I am sarcastic so often that I can't keep track.
Last time you fought with your parents ::: we don't really fight
Last time you wished upon a star ::: I don't. wishes are sort of a waste of time.
Played Truth or Dare ::: A long time ago.
Spent quality time alone ::: Well, I'm about to right now... and clean my room

[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::: Yes.
Do you feel lonely ::: yeah, actually
Ever TP'd someone's house ::: no
How about egging someone's house ::: nope
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::: What?
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::: not at all actually.
Yo Momma ::: is so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::: yes... all the time... i have to supress my cannibalistic tendencies.
What do you think of George Bush? ::: Barack Obamaaaaa
Any secret fetishes? ::: Oh yes.
Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::: nope
How many languages do you speak? ::: 2 but I will eventually be speaking 3.

I've listened to "In your eyes" like a billion times today.

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:37:20 GMT

Here's what I'm thinking...

1) Move to the city with Abbey in the summer.

2) Start my life over. ((Of course, I will have the same morals and what have you... i.e. don't drink, don't do drugs, don't have promiscuous sex, yadda yadda yadda...))

3) Meet new people. Make lifelong buddies.

4) Be happy.

5) Stop hurting those closest to me... I understand that they are all trying to help...

6) Try to make people understand that I need to make my own decisions... not the ones they want me to make. I mean, that's not living my life... and besides, I like to think that I am more than capable of making my own decisions. If I hurt myself, there is just one more mistake that I can learn from.

7) Be a little more outgoing.

8) Save a billion dollars, build a time machine... go back to sophomore year, and start over again.

Love, Stacie

Here's my lullaby designed to wake you up.

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:54:34 GMT

So, I am really annoyed. I share my desk with another girl at work (she works on my days off) well... I come in every morning and all of the things on the desk are out of order... and there are removed staples everywhere and paperclips... and my stapler?? Opposite side of the desk. It drives me nuts. I am sort of OCD at work... my pens even. It's ridiculous.

I don't know, maybe I am just nuts...

So, I decided yesterday that I HAVE to study abroad before I graduate college. I am thinking between my Junior and Senior year... that way I can save a lot of money, and I will know more spanish. ((I plan on going to either Mexico or Spain)). It was the weirdest thing though, suddenly... I just knew.

It was a pretty amazing realization... I felt like my life had meaning for a bit... haha.

I wish more people used livejournal... I feel like I am writing to no one.

I wish I was as happy as I was my sophomore year of high school...

So, the the Say Anything CD ((... In Defense of the Genre)) is coming out October 23rd. Holy shit. =D Anyways, I fell in love with one of their new songs that I heard via YouTube... it was like an amazing... happy love song... or something. Then I saw another version. He must have been broken by this chick, cuz I heard another version, via YouTube... and it was mean. So then, I looked up a name to a song of theirs and came across the lyrics of "That is Why" ((the song I've been discussing)) and I read the lyrics... and it looks like the negative one will be the one on the CD. Maybe it won't be. maybe I will meet Max at the show, haha... and we'll fall in love. HAHA...

I wish KMc didn't have a girlfriend. Fuck.

This is wishful thinking.
-Anastacia

Heh.

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 03:11:46 GMT

Being with Bret... is slowly starting to kill me. Everyday, I just can't handle being with him. It hurts me so much. He hurts me so much. I don't understand. He is supposed to love me, but everyday, he doesn't act like he knows me. He only acts like he is trying to hurt me. His mom says that he is turning into his father, and I am always told that I am like his mom. Well, his mom and dad can't stand each other. I can't stand him. Everyday is like a chore and it drives me crazy. I'm not ok. I'm so unhappy. In my psychology class, we were told to rate our happiness on a scale 1-7. Mine was 3. I was the lowest. I really don't know what to do to make myself happy. Well, I do, but I am afraid. I am terrified.

I know what I want in a guy, too. I want someone who will give themselves to me. Someone who will trust me. Someone who I can trust. Someone who will have fun with me. Someone who doesn't ONLY want to have sex. I want someone who will sing me to sleep, even if they can't sing. I want someone who has plans for the future. I want someone who isn't mean to me. I want someone who won't call me lame every chance they get. I want someone who believes me when I say my neck hurts, and doesn't think that it is an excuse. I want someone who will be patient with me when i can't get comfortable because of my neck. I want someone who will give me kisses in the middle of a sentence. I want someone who won't think I'm funny when I am mad or upset about something, but instead, I want them to talk to me. I want someone who will open up to me, and allow me to do the same. I want someone who will dance with me, even if they can't dance. I want someone who will smile when they see me. I want too much.

-Stacie

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 06:41:22 GMT

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore... and maybe it's better if no one does... but I think I am losing it lately.
I have a friend. I love him. Not like... as a romantic interest.. but on a deeper level. I care about him and his well-being. Well, lately he was feeling pretty down... suicidal. since i found out, i don't know. I can't sleep that well.. i can't eat unless I force myself to. I am terrified of what he will do to himself. he claims to have had an epiphany and from the way it sounded, everything is going to be ok. I hope so. Tonight while i was in the shower, i had a daymare, for lack of a better word ((even though that isn't a word. thank you firefox spell check)) Anyways in the shower i was imagining us talking via video on AIM and we were talking and laughing and i look away and hear a loud noise... and look up and blood everywhere. he shot himself. now i know it is just a day mare or whatever... but it really bothers me. I've been doing this since i found out about him being suicidal.

i have razor burn.

Anastacia

You just watch me, I've got time to kill.

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 19:56:51 GMT

It's been a while, and I am still very interested in using this more often. So right now it is Labor Day. We are having people over, and the only thing I want to do is sit in my room. It is so much more comfortable. Just relaxing.

I wish I lived down at school, or by school, or pretty much just in the city. It is so beautiful and chaotic. I would like to have friends to move in with me so that we could just spend our days and nights just talking and hanging out and being alive. I want friends who will go and take walks with me at night.

It would be nice to have people I can confide in. I really need to get out and make friends in school. It is really hard to find some straight edge kids to live with. I think that is what I want. Some straight edgers who go to a school in the city who I can become best friends with. Some kids who I can stay up late with sometimes and listen to music or just talk to or just do anything with.

Why am I so pathetic?

I need to get everything in my life straight. I know what I need to do, unfortunately, I am too afraid to do it.

I need someone who I can talk to. I need advice.

--Stacia

I've got a hole in my head the size of Lake fucking Michigan...

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 22:34:12 GMT

I am really being bothered by all things bret... and it really upsets me that I am feeling this way about the person I am supposed to love most... I am nearly certain that there is no trust in our relationship... that bothers me... I feel like my tummy is in my feet....

-Anastacia

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:18:39 GMT

I hate it when you miss someone a lot they haunt your dreams... It is only the people (or person, in my case) that you aren't ready to admit that you miss.... It is awfully ridiculous... but I have the most amazing dreams... and some of them are pretty hot... haha... Well, for now, I don't feel like going into details... if you want some just IM me.. (andxfadetowhite) (AIM)

Here is a little survey thing!

Check off the stupid things you have done since you been here on this earth and remember. DO NOT include explanations!

Level 1
( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Smoked Weed
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 2

Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Been Dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( )Bought Lingerie While Thinking of Someone
(x) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 5

Level 3
( ) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(x) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
( ) Been Arrested
(x) Made Out With A Stranger
( ) Read a Romance Novel
( ) Gone Out On A Blind Date

SO FAR: 7

Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
( ) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
( ) Started a Fire Accidentally
( ) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 8

Level 5
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Livejournal Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
( ) Been On A Plane
( ) Gone to the Movies Alone
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 9

Level 6
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Livejournal
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 10

Level 7
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Love/Like Loved/Liked Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
(x) Cry Still When Watching Disney Movies

SO FAR: 15

Level 8
( ) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding (offroading)
(x) Played Dress Up
( ) Ate Edible Underwear

SO FAR: 18

Level 9
( ) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
( ) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 21

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
(x) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
( ) Made Up a Rumor About Someone
( ) Bought Something From a Sex Store

SO FAR: 23

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
( ) Stole something
(x) Been Misunderstood
( ) Swerved In Front of Someone While Driving

SO FAR: 25

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
(x) Had a Hard Time Deciding What to Buy

SO FAR: 29

Level 13
(x) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Starved Yourself for Longer Than a Day

SO FAR: 31

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Looked
( ) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 34

Level 15
( ) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 37

Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
( ) Sang Karaoke
(x)Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 41

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 45

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
( ) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care / Cared
About
(x) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere

SO FAR: 48

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
(x) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey

SO FAR: 51

Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 52

Level 22
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
( ) Sat On A Roof Top
( ) Kissed A Worm

SO FAR: 54

Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently Stayed Up for a while talkin to someone u care about

SO FAR: 58

Level 24
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
( ) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had / Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 60

Level 25
(x) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have / had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 61

Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 64

Level 27
( ) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Made A Porn Video / got asked to make one
( ) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 67

Level 28
(x) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House

SO FAR: 71

Level 29
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
(x) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 74

Level 31
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
( ) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone

SO FAR: 78

Level 32
( ) been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) flattened someones tires
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas

I have done 80 of 150 Stupid Things.

Hello Brian Tran... You are my favorite Brian Tran EVER!!!

Love, Stacia

I think I am just so different.

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 06:33:09 GMT

I was reading back at all my old posts and comments on other peoples LJs... and I have just changed soooo much. I wish I was like I was then, ya know? I mean, I would end like every sentence with a "woo" because I was so excited about life. I had my friends and my relationship. All was so perfect. Now i am stuck between a real me and a fake me. I matured too much too quickly.... why do things happen like this? ya know? it is just so lame. I miss cheerleading, SO much... i miss my grandpa so much... i miss the past soo much i miss my friends i miss my life. I hate relizing things like this. so i got a mysterious message on myspace... and i call and no answer... and i wonder what it was about... but that was my one chance.. the only one i will have ain a long time... whatever... i miss it...

Missing things really sucks...

--Anabubble

::sigh::

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 02:05:23 GMT

Yeah... I decided I am going to start using LJ again. I like it better than MySpace, but I definitely got sucked in... Unfortunately... LJ just has better people. lol... Well... I haven't much to say right now, except hello again...

Always,
Anastacia

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 14:17:38 GMT

Friday- GAME... we won... 42-0... The Oak Forest game was a fluke... Then Bon Fire... with the dark as day clan and followers... and Sess and the evil troll witch thingy... then sessily's house...

Saturday- Sweetest day... i was at sessily's house watching movies and stuff... then i showered and got flowers and PUMPKINS from pat...

Sunday- hung out with sess and missie and Mrs. Dunbar... and kind of with nick and jeremy and his g/f who puts coconut in her damn COOKIES... and doesn't like the laudry smell AND SLAMS DOORS... and is mean to me and sess...life just ins't fair... nice girls finish last...

i am so tired...

+ Stacie +